At the hospital

So I'm sitting here at the hospital at 1:30 in the morning listening to my baby girls moving around and stirring in their crib and Josh snoring in the uncomfortable fold out couch next to me.

It's been a crazy, emotional week for me. My baby girls are now a week old, and have yet to get to come home with us. I guess the easiest way to do this post is a "week long summary" of how things have been...

But before I do that, I just noticed on my dashboard that it said I had 100 posts... but I thought it should be 101, because if you remember I did my special 100th post a couple days before the girls were born. Well this is what happened, I had started a special 100th post a while back, and decided to do something different. So when I did my 100th post, I went back and erased the one I had finished, not realizing that they were counting that as one of my posts. SO my point is... my 100th post was actually my post welcoming Kealie and Jozie into the world. It's kind of funny because I had said I was thinking about holding out to post 100th blog until they were born... Well I did it, it just wasn't the most awesome and fun blog, it was just a quick summary of the day's event and when Jozie and Kealie entered the world...

Ok, anyway; here is what my week has been:

Tuesday, July 21st: Baby girls born, first visit to the NICU to visit them that night, Jozie on oxygen

Wednesday, July 22nd: Visited girls several times in the NICU, got to hold them for first time (besides the few seconds after delivery), Jozie off oxygen, Jozie given feeding tube due to not yet able to get the "suck, swallow, breath" method down

Thursday, July 23rd: I was discharged from the hospital early that morning, but allowed to stay as late as midnight to be close to the girls, so I did. Josh and I were able to feed our baby girls for the first time. With pacing, Jozie was able to eat from a bottle... Kealie never had a problem, she sucked down her bottle quickly at every feeding. Went to visit and feed girls one last time around 9:00 and feeding tube was out of Jozie, because she pulled it out herself!!! She also at the same time pulled her IV out of her hand. Unfortunately she had to have the IV replaced and put in her other hand, but the feeding tube stayed out!!! Left the hospital around 11:00 without my beautiful babies, and it was one of the hardest things to do.

Friday, July 24th: Woke up to my phone ringing at 8:00am. It was the NICU doctor. My heart stopped beating as I thought something was wrong. He was just giving an update on the girls and letting me know how things were and how great they looked. Very nice to get the phone call, but thought it would have been even nicer if someone would have let me know to expect the call from him. He always came and talked to us around noon when I was in the hospital...
Went to hospital and hung out with Jozie and Kealie as much as possible. Things looking great, started hearing that Monday or Tuesday the girls should get to come home if everything stayed as good as it were.

Saturday, July 25th: Girls still in NICU but continued to make great progress. They were maintaining their weight, if not gaining. They were eating very well. Kealie was starting to slow down, but still meeting her requirements at each feeding. Jozie was eating like a champ!
I started getting a headache sometime on Saturday. It was a pretty bad one, and my Motrin that the doc prescribed me wouldn't help it at all. We left hospital at 9:00, and I was in bed by 9:30.


Sunday, July 26th: Woke up and headache was barely there. Got to hospital early to find out they were moving out of NICU down to the Critical Care Nursery 3... An Upgrade because they were doing so well!!! Fed the girls around 2:30... Headache started coming back... Moved girls down to CCN 3 at 3:00. Headache becoming painful... Got girls ready for photos at 3:30, Got Jozie's individual shots, and one of Kealie before she had a horrible spit up. Had to stop the photo shoot and plan to have photographer come back next day. Headache had become excruciating. Grammy (my mom visits) we feed girls, my head is pounding. Tell her I am going to let Josh come sit with her. When I find Josh, I tell him I am having horrible headache. Decide that it is best for me to come home and rest for a bit to see if that will help headache go away.
Leave Grammy with the girls, and head home. Take Excedrin Migraine, a nap and it doesn't help at all. Decide to try Tylenol Allergy a while later, and it finally goes away. So for two days I suffered from an allergy headache, who would have figured!!! Head back to hospital around 7:00, and Shannon visits since she has been on vacation and hasn't had a chance to visit yet. Jen and Tyler also come. Tyler not being old enough to visit in nursery, is given the chance to see Kealie for the first time in person because of our awesome nurse!!! She opens door and allows Tyler to get a good look at one of his new cousins. He would have gotten to see Jozie as well, but he and Josh apparently got locked out of the hospital while Jen and I were visiting the girls... When he finally got up to the nursery we had already put Jozie back in the crib.
Leave hospital again without my babies... But still hearing Tuesday should be the day the girls get to come home as long as they maintain their weight or gain, and pass their car seat tests.

Monday, July 27th: Phone call from doctor, lets us know Kealie had trouble eating and did not meet her requirement through the night feedings. Also from the ultrasound of the brain that they had, they found a cyst on Kealie's brain. Told that there was nothing to worry about and that lot's of people have them that never know about them. And that it is very common in premature babies. Get to hospital and find out we will be moving that afternoon once again. Back up to the 6th floor but in the CCN 1 room. We get Kealie's individual pics done and their pics together done. I must say they are the best pics ever! SO CUTE!!!
Head back upstairs with girls around 3. Hang out with them for the day, and hear many, many many times that these girls will be going home tomorrow because they are doing so well. Stay with the girls until around 10:00 and as leaving nurses are telling us that we should get to bring girls home tomorrow!! We are also told we would probably be discharged in afternoon as the girls were doing so great that they were the last babies in the NICU/CCN that doc checked out.
We get home and hang out for a bit. Josh had to be the cutest. At one point thought he might have an anxiety attack when discussing having girls home and on our own tomorrow!!! But we were both so excited and ready for it! Can't wait to get up on Tuesday morning and prepare to bring out beautiful baby girls home. It will be their 1 week birthday!!!

Tuesday, July 28th: Woke up to phone ringing at 9:00 am... IT's the Doc!!! First thought.. "We are going to get them home really early!!!" Only to be disappointed by doc letting me know that Kealie again struggled to eat and wasn't making her required eatings. So he was going to keep them over night again and that there would be no homecoming today but we would be able to stay in a special room with them overnight. Well as long as I got to stay with my babies it made it a bit better. The phone call was only made worse when he told me that the nurse and he had heard a heart murmur in Jozie... WHAT??? Again we were told that these were fairly normal in premature babies and there was really nothing to worry about. Well guess what? I was worried, worried sick. After the disappointment in the phone call, and the emotions that we both went through after hearing the news and calling the grandparents, we were sitting and discussing getting ready when I fell asleep. Josh too took a nap and then we got up about 1/2 hour later and began gathering our clothes for our overnight stay with our baby girls. We have been here ever since around 1:00. The girls are doing so-so on the feedings. We have been in our "semi-private" room since around 8:00. The nurses are leaving us alone. They haven't checked on us since around 10 or so. As I mentioned at the beginning of this post, Josh is sleeping and the girls have been sleeping as well. We are supposed to wake the girls up every three hours to feed them... It is now 2:30. Kealie was due to eat at 2:00, but I don't understand why I should wake her up if she is sleeping so well. Shouldn't we let her sleep and wake up on her own? Then she might just eat what she needs to eat. Jozie is due for her next feeding at 3:00. I don't know what to do... I mean these nurses and doctors obviously know what they are talking about, and I should do what they tell me to do, but I as a mother, don't believe it is best to wake them up if they are sleeping so well.

I'm going to go and see if Kealie is at least starting to wake up at this time. All of the pictures of the girls are on the computer at home. I don't have any on my laptop which I'm using right now of course. I promise to post pictures as soon as we all get home and have at least a little down time. OHHHH Kealie is waking up!!! Gotta go get her!!!
We would really appreciate just a quick prayer or thought for us that we get to take our baby girls home tomorrow. Josh has to go back to work either Sunday or Monday and I know I and he would really love some time with the girls at home before he has to go back. My birthday is Friday and the only gift I want is for my girls to be home with me, preferably before Friday, preferably tomorrow!!!